She Thinks I Need Jesus, I Just Want Some Kool Aid...Red Flavor Please.

Today at work I had a conversation that consisted of pet heaven, pointers on how to get into people heaven, Jihad, Jim Jones and Hitler all in a matter of 15 min. 
True Story.

I was always told that there are 3 topics that one should not talk about:
Money
Religion
Politics. 
Well I don't listen. 

I could tell she was religious when she asked me if I knew what it takes to get into Heaven. Me wanting to be a smart ass the first thought that popped in my head had to do with Satan  but I didn't say anything. You know what I did? I listened and you know what I AM STILL ALIVE AND IT CAUSED ME NO PHYSICAL PAIN. 

And you know what I learned? That she believes in God. That she finds comfort in her pet going to a better place when the time comes, and that she was willing to reciprocate and listen to what I had to say. I KNOW. AN INTELLIGENT, NON EMOTIONAL CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWS ABOUT ONE OF THE MOST TABOO SUBJECTS AND NO ONE FLIPPED A TABLE. Who'd A thunk it? She was also kind enough to bring me scripture, and though I am not going to read it the fact that she took her time to give me something was all that mattered to me. 

Matter of the fact is people just need to CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Also STOP MISTAKING THAT RADICALS (which are present in every religious and non religious group) AS SPOKESPEOPLE FOR THEIR ENTIRE RELIGION. 

Want to know how to tell the difference between a radical and a regular messenger from God. The latter usually uses fear to try and teach people to be valuable members of society and achieving the ultimate goal of Heaven. I am not talking about extreme fear like your going to die if you have naughty thoughts about your neighbors spouse, but the fear if they are a  bad person they are not going to get into heaven.

The radicals use the peoples desperation and wants, the goal being that said radical will prophet power and riches. For example: this person promises riches, housing, food, etc to people who lack those things in exchange for loyalty, money, etc. usually ending in high body counts. 

Some people may find no difference between the two, on the other hand  it will make total sense to others.  BOTH ARE OK. 

I believe in a higher power, but I do not believe in religious text. It just doesn't add up for me. My God is very personal because it is not the traditional interpretation of God and you know what? My faith has gotten me through a lot in my life. I am still here because of my faith. I also respect that others have faith in things besides religion like other humans. What matters in the end is that we have something that we believe in enough to get us through this shitty thing called life. 

Speak less, Listen more. The people who get heated over other peoples views are people not willing to listen with an open mind so fuck 'em. 

"Can't The Vet Just Give Me Medication With Out An Appointment?"

I consider myself to be very lucky. At the age of 26 I have found my calling whilst many people spend their whole lives searching for what they are 'meant' to do. I have had many jobs, and honestly never thought of any of them as something I can make a career out of. A little about me, I get bored fairly quickly. I have the need to learn new things and once that well runs dry I move on to the next until I started working with animals. Three years later and I am still not bored. 

For those who want to know what it is like working at an animal hospital I will explain with memes, and those of you who have/are working at an animal hospital you probably have already posted most of these on your wall. 

We have been peed on, shit on, bled on (the latter got me a free drink once...another story for another time). We have been lunged at (usually after the owner specifically states that their dog wont bite) therefore bitten, and scratched. We wrangled cats in/out of the carrier and have carried 100lb dogs that become 700lbs of dead weight as soon as they are called into the exam room. Yelled at. Cursed at. We greet the animal before the person. We bark/meow and sometimes hiss back. We see new beginnings and hear awesome stories. We see heart break everyday. And yes, after everything I still love what I do...I am lucky. 

#InsideJokes

During my time in Texas I realized that I missed you. I woke up every morning discovering all over again that there was a piece of me missing. I took you for granted and I am so very sorry. I never would have imagined how much I needed you. I thought that I could live without you, that I would be ok. I mean there were times that I couldn’t even eat. I would look back on all the meals we shared and get this warm, sometimes too hot feeling inside. Now that I am back I promise that I will not go back to the pot again. Oh how I have missed you my dear microwave.

Always yours,

Me. 

A Lesson from Baby

I have lived by this phrase,  using it to weed out the people who are not worthy of being in my life. Life is full of walking into walls, tripping over your own feet, and brain to mouth malfunctions. To me, those moments are the best because later they make for a good laugh. The people who love us despite these doings or love us because we have these moments are the people who become our best friends, our lovers, husbands or wives. Fuck those people who make you feel ashamed and put you in a corner because you are not socially perfect and/or because you should be covered in bubble wrap. Wear that bubble wrap PROUD. (Though if I were to wear bubble wrap I would get nothing done. You would probably find me on the floor exhausted from rolling around wondering why I wasn't popping which I soon after figure out it is because I picked up the non-popping bubble wrap at the store. Why would they make such a thing anyway?) Embrace your awkwardness and when you feel embarrassed yell "I CARRIED A WATERMELON." Why?
Because: 
1. Why not?
2. You might find someone that gets the reference,  who just might be your soulmate.  

Live, Love and definitely Laugh.

*STORY TIME*

A few years ago I still had a small 13 in box tv. Tis was a time that 3D movies and tvs just came out. I rented Coraline from the library which happened to be the 3D version. My brother came in, looked at me and started cracking up. What he saw was me sitting on my bed with 3D glasses on watching said movie. I then turned and asked him why the movie was still blurry? Apparently you needed a 3D tv to watch a 3D movie to which the 3D glasses you got from the showing of the Hannah Montana Best of Both Worlds Tour in 3D movie (it was either that one or My Bloody Valentine in 3D...still) will not work. Go figure.

I was WARNED

My grandmother warned me. She said "Rachelle, Texas has bugs the size of SHOE BOXES!" I scoffed as I thought that I had seen it all. South Jersey has some pretty Jurassic bugs so I was used to it and I would be OK. Until one night about  1 a.m my roommate and I are innocently watching TV and I hear her take in a sharp, shaken, breath. Then I see it. I mean I couldn't miss it. On the wall near the coat rack was a giant...
                 black....
                        winged...
                                   Fucking...
                                               Ladies and Gentlemen this is not for the faint of heart...
                                                                                                                                   fucking....
                                                COCKROACH. 

A horrific sight indeed. I couldn't breath. My roommate grabbed the Raid and ever so carefully (BECAUSE COCKROACHES HERE FLY) raided the hell out of that little bugger. 

And then the unthinkable happened. IT DISAPPEARED. The giant brick of a bug went from being on the wall to MIA in a blink of an eye. We didn't know what to do. So after a few long, no breathing seconds I decided to get the broom and start batting at things. Finally we found it slowly scrambling and dying and all I could feel was sadness. I regretted what we had done. I still feel bad to this day, but then I remember I sometimes  sleep with my mouth open. Next time I will try to humanly dispose of said Goliath of a creature outside, but honestly, no promises.  

P.S. If my roommate had told me that roaches here fly and are the size of a telephone pole I would have stayed in Jersey. 

P.P.S I called my grandmother the other day and told her. She gloated in her "I told you so". (probably not, but I swear there was something in her tone...I'm on to you grandma.)


Just so you know 

Okay Okay...the last one was a little exaggerated but even the Times gets the struggle.

http://www.nytimes.com/1982/07/18/us/new-houstonians-quickly-discover-truth-and-humbug-about-roaches.html

Read for yourselves Skeptics

Obviously

Being away from my niece has been the hardest part of moving. She is the one person I hoped to see when I got home from work. I would get so excited that she was there, and so disappointed when she was not. 

What is really cool is that she has parts of all of us. She looks and is a germophobe like my brother (Her dad). She has my 'laugh at everything you can' attitude, big head and feet (Sorry Lydia) and my youngest brothers talent to  stoically ignore everyone when she doesn't want to do anything or speak. We also share similar mannerisms that are common amongst me and my brothers. It is pretty awesome to see our quirks and bits of personality seep through to the next generation. Parents probably feel like that all the time but to the 'I am going to be the rich aunt/uncle' type people, this is extra special because there is a possibility of not seeing parts of us pass on. It is a different kind of relationship. We can do  stuff like make messes and then give the kid back. We can teach them bad things parents can't teach their kids. We will have fun and share secrets. 

She has a lot ahead of her and I will be there as much as I can. I hope she takes after me more than just my awesomeness. I hope she is able to see the silver lining in things. I hope that she is able to stay true to herself, and make proper choices in order to do so. I hope she is amazing and keeps the love in her heart, and continually see the joy that the world has to offer. 

Lydia I am proud to be your aunt and I love you so much. 

I AM SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID WHEN I WAS TIRED

Last night I thought it would be a good idea not to sleep. I experienced that weird phenomenon that happens when you are ready to go to sleep at a decent hour, maybe play on your phone or be on the computer thinking "I have a half hour before I have to go to bed." AND THEN IT HAPPENS. That half hour turns into 3-4 hours passed to which it is then that awkward time where you might as well stay up because the birds will be chirping soon, and if you were to go to bed you'd sleep till dinner time. 

Thing is I AM A COMPLETE AND UTTER BITCH WHEN I DON'T GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Normal things that would bother me irk me to no end. I have said many things that I did not mean when I was tired, in the moment justifying it as them being an ass nugget. Though, I do tell them to leave me alone to which I am considered a bitch in that aspect though, I am just giving them a heads up. So yea...they are ass nuggets.  

Acts of Kindness

Most of us have seen those posts about people paid for a strangers dinner, or paying for someones groceries. I love those posts. Hearing about acts of kindness can take me from a really shitty, depressing, angry mood and just make everything right. 

We live in a world of negative media and it is really easy to let said media to affect our moods and our lives because it is everywhere. There is always something negative that we forget the people are good. MOST people are good. There are more good people in this world than are bad, though these days it does not seem like it. I have been guilty of think of the world and its people as bad. I used to think that most people are out to get others, etc. BUT since I moved to the South I have found that MOST people are good. For example, I went to the grocery store the other day and I was about to put my cart back in the cart return and this lady said "I'll put your cart back, I'm going that way." That small act made my day. People in Jersey don't even put the carts back let alone putting away someone elses. 

Now, now I know that people are kind all over, but I have found generosity and kindness more frequent in the South. One of my theories is that us Yankees are so busy and in a rush all the time. Life there is so fast paced, peoples focus is getting what they need to get done well...done. It sounds productive, but I come from working 50 hours a week, plus was in school full time and I was miserable. I was miserable because all I did was work, school and sleep. I didn't have time for myself, let alone for other people and I would get mad if someone bothered me. I mean I would hold doors for people, and I only told a few people to Fuck off, but I am different here. Everything is slower. People talk slower, drive slower, etc which gives them time to stop and smell the roses and participate in things that count. I also think that people are less off putting here so people are not afraid to extend a hand because who wants to try to help someone and be completely shot down. It hurts. 

Today, I doing laundry and I paid for a ladies machine. At first I was hesitant because I didn't know how she would take it. Would she think that I thought she couldn't pay for it? Would she think that I wanted something from her? I know how ridiculous it sounds but if you are from where I am from those questions make sense. It took me a second, but I went on and left the laundry room. She did not speak good English, but her young daughter was there and explained what I had done. She caught me outside, shook my hand. That made me feel so good. It made me feel good because I wanted nothing in return. I just had hope that it made her day a little brighter. I was happy because I had the opportunity to return the act of kindness that the shopping cart lady showed me. And you want to know something. It was painless and took a whole 3 seconds. 

Leaving Home

Last week I took the drive from Jersey to Texas. Why you may ask? Because at 26 I am ready to leave home. I finally left my fear and guilt behind and just went for it. I visited Houston last year and fell in love. It is beautiful, exciting AND my best friend lives here. It was never a rash decision, though my mom would say otherwise. I have been thinking about moving for over a year. I have moved in and out of my families house, always being asked to come back for different reasons. Number one being my mothers guilt trips. I never had a good relationship with my family. I mean there were good times, but for the most part we really ignored each other. So when they showed any interest in wanting me home, I would come back thinking that we would start anew and have the relationship that other families had. That never happened. (I do not write this to blame, but to give a little bit of back story.)

Fear also had a lot to do with me staying. Moving  for anyone is scary because it is something out of your current comfort zone...so I decided to move cross country. This decision finalized when I woke up one day and did not have a feeling of fear, guilt or regret. Instead I had the gut feeling that now was the time to do it, so I did. Of course I would never tell anyone just pack and pick a city. That is just too close to the line a possible failure (not that it couldn't happen right now). I am lucky enough to have a best friend that took me in for the time being. 

Now that I am here, everything is hitting me. As I was packing, and finishing up at work, my grandmother landed in the ICU and was in there for a few weeks (she is fine now) and my dog got really sick and I had to put him to sleep. I also ended up taking the trip alone because my mom had a really bad panic attack the day of and couldn't come with me as planned. I which my mom had come, I am glad that my I was able to visit my grandmother before the move and I miss my dog. Of course I miss my family, more than I thought I would. It is sad, but I know that I will be OK. When I visit I will be happy to see my family instead of ignoring each other. It was time, and it is time for me to live life for me and establish myself. 

"People are strange when you're a stranger"- Jim Morrison The Doors

I feel as we get older the less patience we have for people because you know, we work and stuff so we build this ideal person in our heads and that is what we will associate with. It's like "if people don't like the same music, TV shows, etc. I don't have time for them because I will actually have to get to know them and not be able talk about the same TV shows, music etc. over and over and freaking over again." the thinking being the people on the outside of our box do not fit our criteria, therefor are foreign bodies and the extent of our socialization should just be in the form of exchanging niceties. Some people may be happy with that, but from my experience, when I stepped outside of that box and actually made an effort to get to know that person I was usually pleasantly surprised and they weren't so strange or foreign anymore. If I kept myself inside of that box I would not have learned as much as I have, and met the awesome people (even if they are not in my life anymore you are still a memory) that I have met over the years.

*Side tidbit that seems to have to do something with this post (well in my head it does) but probably doesn't:


I was in the shower the other day (which just happens to be the place where I do my best thinking) and I was going through my school years a thinking about the friends that I had during that time. I was the person who talked to everyone. I had friends in band, cheer leading, and football. As well as friends who took school way to seriously and friends that well...didn't. I didn't have and abundance of friends but the people who I chose to spend my time with were on completely different parts of the school click spectrum and to each other (as far as school clicks go) they probably viewed each other as strange (especially if you were walking around in a pink shirt wearing black lipstick...oh wait that was me) but by getting to know me and them getting to know each other I had a neat group of friends who made school and life  FUN. Those people made it so easy to be comfortable with who I am because each person complimented a part of me.

Believe in LOVE 2016

When I heard that Coldplay was going to perform the halftime show I was a little baffled. I have nothing against them and the interviews that I have seen they are some really nice guys but I think that they had their time. Being that I only was watching the Superbowl because I had money in it, I wasn't really involved. Then they came on. 

I have no idea what they songs were, but I was happy because they were happy, and so was their performance. Their message was...for lack of a better word HAPPY. Coldplays performance was super refreshing especially after hearing major stars such as  Mr. and Mrs. Smith, who are boycotting events because of some issue (I'm going to be ignorant and guess its a race thing...but really I love Will and Jada and it hurts that they are falling into race thing, I thought they were better than that.) (Also, Leonardo Dicaprio has not won an Oscar or so the memes have stated.  So I don't think not winning is a race thing just the best actors are usually the ones who do not win thing.) ( Also, I have not seen any memes yet about how Beyonce and Bruno were dressed as Black Panthers.)

ANYWAY, digressing from uber redundancy, we all know that love is the cure for almost EVERYTHING. Mine is when I come home and my dog is so happy to see me he all about does back flips. Or when my niece comes over and we spend hours playing 'paydoh' whilst giggling over our misshapen cookies and hot dogs. No matter how my day goes, I can count on love to make it all better every single day, and by believing in love I am able to navigate and  manage my depression. Everyone has love it is just a matter of recognizing it.

LOVE:

• Animals
• Children
• People
• Hobbies
• Family
• Stories
• Pretty much anything that gives you major joy. 

*I know for some people they might issues with or not able to see love in their life but it is there and even if it seems that love is lost for you, I can guarantee that though you may feel loveless, you are someone elses love, and I hope by believing that, you will find love.

"Set religion free and a new humanity will begin."-Friedrich Schlegel

Religion is probably the number one fight starter. I could actively punch babies yet somehow talk about religion will still cause more controversy and...dare I say it HATRED. I am not of any religion. I was never baptized, but I did attend the Presbyterian church when I was younger. My mom and step dad are non practicing Catholics, my grandmother is very religious but has been apart of so many denominations I have no idea what she is. My best friend is Muslim, but not really active and definitely not as active as her father. I have friends who are Jewish and many other friends that have different religious beliefs. I believe in God and in Heaven, my best friend does not as well as a few of my friends and guess what. I DO NOT CARE. Who really cares who believes in what as long as they believe in something. And if someone says that they do not believe in anything that is total BS because everyone needs to believe in something to get on with our days. Believing in nothing is still believing in something. 

The reason why religion is such a no no issue is that people are too lazy to take the time to listen to one another or do just a little bit of research. It generates hate because we are ignorant. If anything, people should learn about other religions just for the knowledge. Religion is the last matter that we need to be focusing on, yet it is a matter that separates us the most. We should be worrying about our shitty government and the only way we are going to get out of the fox hole we were dumped in is if we come together and face the bigger issues and we cannot do that if we have something so dumb (religion is not dumb, the fact that it is a major issue is) separating us. 

When we finally become accepting of others beliefs we will become far stronger than any one of us can currently imagine. We will start to judge people because of the person, not  because they are a different religion and with that I bet we will treat each other better. 

P.S. No religion is better than another. Do not judge someone because they have different religious or no religious beliefs and take the time to get to know the person. You never know, they might be your new best friend, or save your life one day.  

"I love mankind. It's people I can't stand." -Linus

Mr. Schulz had it right. In my everyday life there are only a few people that I like. I like a few of my co-workers as well as neighbors. I still keep in touch with a couple of people I went to school with and from time to time we hang out. Lately though, most people I want to punch in the temple. I cannot stand people who think they deserve something from nothing. I cannot stand people who think that they are better than anyone else. I cannot stand people who constantly complain about money. I cannot stand people who gossip about others but don't have the parts to say it to the persons face. I know at least one person that one of the latter sentences pertain to and sometimes I do those things which I cannot stand. I look at these individuals sometimes (and myself) and just want to bang my head against any intimate object. When I feel like this I stop and look at something positive. The last thing that I remember seeing that brought me great hope was a guy out on his boat floating along, and then you see him pull something out of the water. It was a Syrian refugee baby and I felt so grateful and happy that this poor baby was saved especially since it was around a time where there was so much hate (especially in the US) toward the refugees, and still is (again, especially in the US). In the video the guy did not hesitate. He saw a human being in need and just helped. There was no prejudice...just a person helping another person. That man helped me remember that there are good people out there still. 

Another example would be Hurricane Sandy. Living in NJ I have been on the outskirts of many hurricanes. I would look forward to the storms, and usually it was just a little bit of wind, thunder and lightning. Sandy was full on destroy and kill. Years later people are still recovering on the coast. It was a devastation that we were not prepared for. The first few days were pretty bad. Most didn't have power. Stores were closed and we could not get off my block because there were down power lines (still live) on either end of my street. We were stuck. I remember neighbors coming to make sure others were OK. People had to cook what was in their freezer and couldn't keep it so we would give it to each other. People were donating time, clothes, and even their homes to people all over. I have never been more proud of my little town as well as my state before that time. It made me remember the feeling that comes with helping others as well as reminding me again that there are still good people out there. If we think of those good people as a whole it is a lot easier to forget the individual a-holes even if they are a constant in our lives. 

“I love Humanity but I hate humans” ― Albert Einstein

As I have gotten older I have very little patience for other human beings, and sometimes I even annoy myself. When we are young we have full love for everything. Our hearts are full of light. We could look at a fallen leaf and be totally enamored by its shape, color, and journey to the ground. As the years pass so does that naive love and we become more guarded until we have to refrain ourselves from randomly punching people in the face. 

I purposely do not watch the news or follow the tabloids for various reasons including:

• Propelling of Racism
• Cop Bashing
• Pedophilia
• Animal abuse
•  Kids set themselves on fire thinking that they are going to make youtube money

I still browse through Facebook every once in a while unfollowing anyone who is believes or takes part in the above list. After taking out the garbage what I am left with is a small community of people that donate to a neighbors gofundme. Who send their condolences when someone passes away, and congratulates on a birth or engagement. When one cuts out all the negative, what you are left with are a group of good people and are able to shut out certain individuals who in some cases do not deserve to breath. 

This blog is to serve as a punching bag when people are...well people, and also to bring to light the wonderful wonderfulness that is humanity.